When Fertility Feels Broken: Finding Hope Through Acupuncture and Integrative Healing

It was 2011. I was 31, in my second year of Family Medicine residency, and barely scraping by physically, emotionally, and financially. 

Long hours, relentless call schedules, and constant pressure had become my baseline. I was learning how to care for everyone else, but quietly, my own body felt like it was unraveling.

That is when Dr. Guacamole (not his real name, and nicknamed this because he had the personality of an avocado) delivered the news: my ovarian reserve was terrible. His recommendation was clear and clinical: IVF, and only an aggressive version, was my best shot.

The problem was that my insurance did not cover IVF. It only covered IUI. And on a resident’s salary, IVF was not even a remote option. 

There was no safety net, no workaround, no backup plan. Just a stark reality and a deep sense of grief I did not yet have language for.

So I turned to what I could access: acupuncture.

Weekly treatments became my rhythm. They were scheduled pauses in a life that rarely slowed down. Rare moments of stillness in the chaos of residency. For an hour at a time, I could lie down, breathe, and let someone care for me without asking anything in return. No lab values. No testing. Just presence.

One afternoon, lying there with needles in place, I remembered a quote from a yoga class that had stayed with me for years.

“At the moment of commitment, the universe conspires to assist you.” Goethe

Just then, a parade passed by outside the window. Music, cheering, movement. It felt surreal, like the world was cheering for me, for my decision to keep going, even when the path forward was unclear.

That was the first time I felt a flicker of hope. And a tear leaked down my face.

Looking back now, I understand something I could not fully grasp then. 

Healing does not always look like medicine. Sometimes it is quiet. Sometimes it is invisible. Sometimes it does not come with guarantees or measurable outcomes.

But it always begins within. It begins with the whisper that tells us to try again. The nudge to trust the path we have walked, even when it has not unfolded the way we planned. 

The reminder that we have come this far for a reason, and that we are not done yet.

Because in the end, everything will be okay.

And if it is not okay, it is not the end.